oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
