My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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