addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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