wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
