did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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