The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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