There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i think my tv is drunk
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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