I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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