btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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