Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
