i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Im part way to drunk.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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