know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
