so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
