My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
