I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I checked into jail on foursquare
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Randomize
