It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
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