omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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