youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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