I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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