i always forget guys have bellybuttons
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
