I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Randomize
