found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
try to milk me bitch
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