Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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