she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
