So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
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