Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
nutella sex= disaster
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
