suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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