mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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