Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
