The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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