Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
