she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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