Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
