If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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