just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
