Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I'm having to shit out rocks
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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