Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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