remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Randomize
