And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
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i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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