who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize