he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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