Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
