I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
