I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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