I hate all girls vehemently.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
