drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize