Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
