it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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