He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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