I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize