So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
