new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
