my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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