I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
