why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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