I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I think my moral compass just broke
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
