Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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