im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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