I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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